


At First He Was Rough

by ophelia_interrupted



Category: Swordspoint Series - Ellen Kushner
Genre: M/M, Missing Scene, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:39:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4605315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ophelia_interrupted/pseuds/ophelia_interrupted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A more detailed idea of what might have happened between Richard and Alec at this line: "At first he was rough, and then he was gentle."</p>
            </blockquote>





	At First He Was Rough

_“You’re crying, Richard,” Alec said. “You’re crying.”_

_The tears burned his eyes like acid. They made his face feel raw. Alec lowered him to the floor. At first he was rough, and then he was gentle._

_\--Swordspoint, Ellen Kushner_

            Richard didn’t want to play rough.  When Alec got him down on the floor, he started tearing at his clothes, dragging his breeches down over his hips, hauling his shirt up his back.  Alec scratched him, and he hated being scratched.  “Stop it!” he exclaimed, trying to draw sharply away from the other man. 

            Alec did not stop.  They struggled.  Richard’s heartbeat hammered loud in his ears as he saw an easy opening—the pit of Alec’s unprotected throat.  One hard strike there and he would drop down choking.  As he imagined lashing out at his lover, an image flashed though his mind—Jessamyn lying crumpled on the floor, her face turning blue, her eyes staring.  There had been surprisingly little blood. 

            Richard stayed his hand.  It wasn’t safe for him to hit back.  Alec didn’t know how to fight; he couldn’t take it.  So he allowed himself to be pushed and torn at, shoved to that he was facing the wall.  Then Alec came up behind him, grabbed a handful of his hair to pin him in place, and bent over Richard’s back, sinking his teeth into his shoulder.  Richard cried out, and in that moment he realized what was going to happen.  His Alec was going to force him. 

            He wrenched away, got his back against the wall, was aware of aware of a sword standing ready in the corner, but did not grab for it.  Instead he shouted, “Stop it!” again, and held out his hands to push Alec back.  Richard had been in tears when Alec started in on him, and he was crying out loud now—something he hadn’t done since Jessamyn died. 

            Tears blurred his vision too much to see well, but he was aware that Alec had not come after him again.  Instead he shifted, lithe and self-contained as a cat, and sat tailor-wise on the floor, looking at him.  When that long, black-clad figure didn’t move, Richard pulled his arms back and wrapped them around himself as he wept.  Alec had been about to hurt him, and it broke his heart. 

            “I didn’t know,” Alec said at last, sorrow and wonderment in his voice.

            “You didn’t know what?” Richard managed. 

            “I didn’t know that if I pushed you, you’d break.  I thought you’d push back.  Everybody else does.”

            Richard looked up at the sword he had not killed Alec with, and struggled to get his voice under control.  “Alec . . . there was a woman.  She pushed me.  She pushed and pushed, until I—I finally pushed back, and now she’s dead.  I can’t.  I can’t fight you.  It’s not fair.”  He wasn’t entirely sure if he was saying that he had an unfair physical advantage over Alec, or that Alec had an unfair emotional advantage over him.  Either way, the situation was unbearable. 

            “I see,” Alec said quietly.  “You need gentle touches.”  He reached out and put his hand on Richard’s arm, and rubbed it lightly.  Richard thought about shrugging his hand off, but the caresses felt nice. 

            “Yes, gentle touches,” Richard echoed.  When he stopped crying so hard, he said, “Sometimes I don’t mind playing rough, but when I say ‘Stop it,’ I need you to stop.” 

            Alec nodded and moved to sit next to Richard, against the wall.  He lifted the back one of Richard’s hands to his lips.  “I understand now,” he said.  “It’s different for me.  Sometimes when I say ‘stop,’ I don’t mean it at all.” 

            That was a whole other potential nightmare, but Richard chose to ignore it for the moment.  “You hit me,” he reiterated.  “You scratched me.  You scared me.  You made me cry.”

            “I’m sorry, Richard.  I’m sorry,” Alec breathed.  “I was afraid for you, and when I’m afraid, I get angry.  But I see what I have to do now.  I can’t push you and shout at you.  You’re breakable.  I have to be the one to protect you.”

            Richard smiled, imagining Alec physically interposing himself between him and the Watch.  But all he said was, “Thank you, Alec.”

            Alec wrapped his arm around Richard’s shoulders and wordlessly coaxed him into sitting on his lap, straddling his hips.  Had the situation been slightly different, it might have been a very erotic way to sit, sex pressed against sex, but as it was it was just a particularly nice position to be held in, which is what Richard wanted.  Alec’s embrace was warm and steady and soothing, and Richard found himself forgiving him for hurting him. 

            They kissed, their lips just ghosting against one another at first, but then they tasted each other with increasing passion.  Richard started to feel Alec stirring between his legs, and he rubbed against him, encouraging the reaction.  Alec ran his hands down Richard’s shirt-clad back, and then to the bare skin of his hips.  He pulled Richard’s pelvis forward in time with the gentle thrusts. 

            Soon that wasn’t enough, and Richard unbuttoned Alec’s breeches, the better to stroke him directly.  He teased both of them with his hands, and was rewarded when Alec tipped his head back against the wall and made a soft, well-pleasured noise.  Richard leaned forward to kiss the sensitive skin of his throat. 

            Alec gripped him around his waist convulsively, and then whispered in his ear: “I want you,” his lovely light voice husky with desire. 

            “Take me then,” Richard whispered back. 

            Alec ran his fingertips down Richard’s back, almost as if he would scratch him again, but this time he didn’t.  Richard found he liked the sensation, so long as there was no pain.  After a few moments of near-scratches, Alec moved to get up, patting Richard lightly on his bottom as a wordless request for him to move.  He complied and sat on the floor.  Alec leaned in to kiss him and said softly, “Stay here.” 

            Richard watched Alec as he crossed to the chest at the foot of their bed, and withdrew some soft cloths and the bottle of olive oil they used to make things easier between them.  Richard had been frightened when he thought Alec was going to force him dry, but consensual penetration with due care to see that he was comfortable was another thing entirely. 

            Alec sat back on the floor and coaxed Richard into lying stomach-down across his lap.  He heard Alec take the stopper from the bottle, and then Alec’s oil-covered fingers were caressing him outside and in.  The position and the slightly shivery feeling from the residual adrenaline reminded Richard of when he’d lost his virginity.  The thought caused him to make a soft, amused sound.

            “What?” Alec asked, as he massaged him inside.  Richard tilted his hips slightly to move his fingers to a sweeter spot.

            “Just thinking.”

            “Of what?”

            Alec managed to nudge a particularly delicious area, and Richard’s whole body responded, as if warm liquor were coursing through his veins.  It was a little difficult to answer, but he got out: “My first time.” 

            “Ah,” Alec said, seeming to find that idea appealing.  “What was it like?”

            “This.”           

            “Did you like it?”

            “Mm-hm.” 

            “Tell me.”  Somewhat to Richard’s disappointment, he withdrew his hand to get more oil.

            He propped himself up on his elbows and said, “It was another swordsman . . . he was aging out of the business just as I was getting into it.  Said he’d show me a thing or two.”

            “And did he?” Alec asked, beginning to stroke him again. 

            “Oh, yes.  Lots of things.” 

            Alec made a pleased-sounding noise.  “Show me,” he said. 

            “All right.”  Richard got up and straddled Alec’s lap again, this time taking care to pull his breeches down to his thighs before he sat down.  Then he took the bottle of oil and poured some into the hollow of his hand.  “He had me start like this.”  He took Alec in his hand and stroked him slowly and firmly, which made the other man arch his back out toward him.  Alec bit at his lower lip.

            “That’s _so_ good, Richard.” 

            “I’m glad.”  While he worked on Alec with one hand, he lifted his lover’s knuckles to his lips with the other.  Once he was done kissing his knuckles, he lightly kissed each of Alec’s fingertips.  “Did you like your first time?”

            “No.” The sudden coldness in Alec’s voice startled Richard.

            “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”  He tried to make up for saying the wrong thing by running his fingers over the sensitive head of Alec’s erection.  He heard Alec’s sharp intake of breath.

            “It’s all right.  I’ll just pretend this is my first time.  With you,” Alec said, a little absently. 

            “I wish it was,” Richard said.  He didn’t like the idea of young Alec having a sexual experience he didn’t enjoy. 

            “I wish it was too.” 

            Once he judged that any further hand stroking would end things too quickly, Richard busied himself with taking off Alec’s coat and shirt, leaving him naked from just above the knees.  Then he positioned himself above Alec’s pulsing cock, and they both worked at guiding it into him.  Richard put his hands on Alec’s shoulders, moving up and down on his knees, while Alec took Richard’s erection in his hand. 

            Richard continued like that, feeling a succession of little ecstasies, while Alec thrusted up from beneath him.  Now and again Richard would lean in and kiss his lover’s parted lips, and Alec responded with intense passion.  Just as Richard was settling in for a good, long, slow fuck, Alec suddenly wrapped his arms around his ribcage and whispered huskily, “I want you on your back.” 

            Richard obliged him, getting up and lying on the floor with his knees drawn up.  Alec stripped the last of his clothing off, then hooked his elbows behind Richard’s knees.  He rolled him up nearly in a ball, until he had access for penetration.  This time, with Alec in control, sex was harder and faster, rattling Richard’s teeth a little.  He couldn’t help but smile breathlessly.  Alec simply liked intensity, and sometimes Richard did too.  When the end came it shook Richard’s bones. 

            Afterward, they exchanged fierce kisses, with Alec lying on top of Richard’s supine body.  When they finally took a break, Alec gazed down into Richard’s eyes and asked, “Too rough?”

            Richard shook his head and reached up to stroke Alec’s hair, which had fallen around both of them in a chestnut curtain.  “Hard can be fine,” he said.  “I just don’t like being scratched.  I don’t like being hit.” 

            “No,” Alec agreed.  “Only gentleness for my Richard.  He hates being hurt.” 

            “Yes,” Richard said.

            “I won’t let them hurt you.  I’m going to take care of you,” Alec said.

            Richard had absolutely no idea how Alec intended to do that, but he was touched by the thought.  “I’d like that,” he said.

            Alec kissed him once more and then lay down with his head in the hollow of Richard’s shoulder.  They held each other close as Richard allowed himself to fall into a dreamy half-doze. 

 

_Richard knew that he ought to be upset. He had just been thoroughly overturned by Alec: had lost his temper, lost his control, behaved in ways he didn’t even know he could. But Alec had caught him as he fell, had taken pleasure in it. And now he felt wonderful, as long as he didn’t think hard about it._

_\--Swordspoint, Ellen Kushner_


End file.
